Why is it So Hard to Set Healthy Boundaries?

Hey, everybody! Someone wrote to me recently and asked, "Why is it so hard to set boundaries and be consistent with them?" 

I love this question because, like burnout, we are hearing more about boundaries. But you all know I've been talking about the connection between burnout and boundaries for a while, so I am glad someone asked this question.

One big secret about boundaries that many people don't know is that there's a cycle of setting healthy boundaries in your life. And saying "No" is just one part of it.

So, why is it so hard to set and maintain boundaries consistently? 

First, setting boundaries can be especially difficult for women because we are socialized to feel guilty about saying no and putting ourselves first. And we feel guilty when we have to disappoint others.

We want so badly to please others and make them happy, especially those we care about. Then, doing so becomes a part of our identity. 

Where are my high achievers? 

High achievers have added pressure because they see themselves as competent and reliable. 

They don't drop the ball. But part of boundaries is that sometimes you have to let go.

Let's be honest? Boundaries are not this cute little process where you say no, and suddenly other people are always okay with it. Right? It doesn't always happen like that. Sometimes we get pushed back. And sometimes, we feel like we have to drop the ball. 

And that's just the reality of it. Boundaries say that we are acknowledging our limitations, can't do everything, and can't be everything to everyone. 

Boundaries allow us to take off the cape

And so when we acknowledge that, inevitably, we have to put some things down. We have to take off some capes. We have to be able to admit that we can't do it all. But in the emotional realm, it's a bit different. 

You can't will your way into well-being, wellness, and inner balance and peace. You have to set yourself up so that you prioritize the things that matter to you. You find a way to relegate the things that aren't serving you or take them off the plate or put them on the back or whatever, right. 

But here's the thing, once we're able to acknowledge that guilt and recognize that it's normal, we're on a new path of inner peace and freedom. And the disappointment that other people might feel when you have to tell them no will decrease. You'll realize that they will be okay. They will survive. 

And guess what? Your relationship will survive as well. It would be okay if that were someone who meant something to you.

And I know this truth from my own experience. It wasn't until I got my boundaries that I could get rid of burnout, and resentment, supercharge my confidence and step to the other side of bliss.

And I know you can too.

Watch the video to hear more...

BTW, Are you ready to learn how to drop the cape and supercharge your boundaries and self-love? 

Join the Drop the Cape, Pick Up the Crown 5-Day Challenge HERE